i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
