Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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