And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
