Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
