You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize