He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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