This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
