Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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