Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
