remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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