HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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