Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize