ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
