Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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