Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
