Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
