Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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