come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
