so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
They have beer where we have blood.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
