I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize