Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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