Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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