I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
