Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
