Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
