you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize