So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
