I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
