from now on my penis is your penis
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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