So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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