it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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