I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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