it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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