You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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