If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
