I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
