I wish I only lived at night.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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