I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
