You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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