the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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