Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
