I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
