So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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