guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
