dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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