called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Be still, my beating vagina.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
