how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
