There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
