Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
