Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
