as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
