I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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