lets start a swedish sibling band together
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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