somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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