Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
