You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
