Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
