maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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