are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
