Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.

Fav 42 2174 6409
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(520): View more from Arizona

I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie

Fav 39 7789 1891
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.

Fav 14 7561 1436
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.

Fav 1 1822 866
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(540): View more from Virginia

I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.

Fav 8 1312 820
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(503): View more from Oregon

Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.

Fav 7 2122 900
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(801): View more from Utah

She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.

Fav 1 98 89
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Dude I had my dad cock block me once

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