we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize