your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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