i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
