Cold hands, warm shart.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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