Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
