using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
