u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
