Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
